1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,138 Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend... I've had the best time 2 00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:05,339 hanging out with the both of you. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,241 I think it's official that we're a squad. 4 00:00:07,275 --> 00:00:08,376 Can I drink that extra Juicebox? 5 00:00:08,409 --> 00:00:09,377 Take it. Thanks! 6 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:10,244 That's my best friend. 7 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,480 She just had that "me, me, me, me" vibe. 8 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,248 You don't think that Paula feels left out, right? 9 00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,117 She doesn't feel like I've replaced her? 10 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,751 Introducing the newest member 11 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:20,388 of our girl group, Pa-Pa-Pa-Paula! 12 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,123 PAULA: Our relationship has always been one-sided-- 13 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,725 I give, you take, and that is how it works. 14 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,129 Hey. 15 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,797 I work out. 16 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,365 (laughs) 17 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,766 (sighs, chuckles) 18 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,635 Move up. Quit texting your new girlfriend. 19 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,770 Um, Anna is not my new girlfriend. 20 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,140 We've only been out on three amazing dates. 21 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,542 Ha! Sorry, just Anna texted me a picture of a cat 22 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,810 dressed up like a dog. 23 00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,179 Where does she find this stuff? 24 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:50,118 * I'm just a girl in love 25 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,685 * La-la-la, lovey-dove * 26 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,422 * I can't be held responsible for my actions * 27 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:56,124 * She's an ingenue * 28 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,159 * I have no underlying issues to address * 29 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,694 * I'm certifiably cute and adorably obsessed * 30 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,596 * They say love makes you crazy * 31 00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,832 * Therefore, you can't call her crazy * 32 00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,834 * 'Cause when you call her crazy * 33 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,836 * You're just calling her in love. * 34 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,804 Blam! 35 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,483 (to "William Tell Overture"): * Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell, hell, hell * 36 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,352 * Go to hell, go to hell, hell, hell. * 37 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,387 Wha...? I'm throwing it out. 38 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,724 (sighs) 39 00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:40,634 (elevator bell dings) 40 00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:41,769 Hey, Trish. 41 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,237 Hey, Eddie. 42 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,273 * What's up Juanita? 43 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:46,640 Hey, you. 44 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,277 Oh, I'm-I'm George. Yeah, you are. 45 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,711 Ha-ha! 46 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:51,579 Hey, PP. 47 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,646 What happened 48 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,282 to all your fun desk stuff? 49 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,383 I... 50 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,485 am re-branding. 51 00:01:57,518 --> 00:02:00,854 And, uh, for starters, don't ever call me PP again. 52 00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:03,457 Oh, wait a minute. Now, you're not gonna... 53 00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,593 throw out the "Honk if you're horny, 54 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,495 Paula Proctor is 40" bumper sticker! 55 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,230 That's classic! 56 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,832 I have new... interests now, Darryl. 57 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:13,567 REBECCA: Oh, hello, Darryl. 58 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:14,768 Good morning. 59 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:15,836 Mm-hmm. 60 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,905 And good morning... 61 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:20,208 this guy. 62 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,642 You are lookin' very well. 63 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,345 Yeah. Thanks. Actually, my-my mother found a lump on... 64 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,514 (laughing): Oh, you're so funny! 65 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,782 You are my favorite person in this three-foot radius. 66 00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,784 GEORGE: Well, that's nice to hear, 'cause the doctor 67 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,786 was crying when... he told us. 68 00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,455 So it's... it's probably not good. 69 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,490 Yeah, uh-huh. Okay, cool. But it's just one... 70 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:38,726 We'll talk about this... talk about this later, best friend. 71 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,428 Okay. That's fine. 72 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,664 Are you and Rebecca still fighting? 73 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,932 Come on. 74 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,867 You guys are besties. Someone should apologize. 75 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,602 I don't want to take sides. 76 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,271 No one needs you to do anything. 77 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:51,239 (sighs heavily) 78 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,873 I wonder what selfish person 79 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,408 would hog all the pink highlighters. 80 00:02:54,442 --> 00:02:56,510 Oh! Look at that. 81 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,546 There they are. 82 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,217 (printer whirrs) 83 00:03:03,251 --> 00:03:05,319 I know what you want, you know. 84 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,321 You want me to apologize. 85 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,357 You know what, though? I'm not gonna apologize. 86 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,559 You know why? I'm always the one who apologizes. 87 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:13,694 I mean, usually it's because I'm the one that did the bad thing, 88 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:14,962 but not this time, not this time. 89 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,497 You owe me the apology this time. 90 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:18,466 You want to know why? You want to know why? 91 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:19,833 Because you came to my girl party, 92 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,702 and you were rude to everyone, you were rude to me, 93 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,571 you tried to leave early, you broke my new house, 94 00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,373 and y... Look, I know you and I 95 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,707 are not in a great place, 96 00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,742 but I have a big paper due next week. 97 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,311 I got to go. 98 00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,580 Paula... Paula, Paul... 99 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,715 (sighs) 100 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,618 We got to find some way to make this better. 101 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,355 I know. 102 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,824 I just don't know how. 103 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,370 Hey, babe. 104 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:58,038 You seen my vest and bow tie? 105 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,008 I need to get my barbershop quartet outfit dry-cleaned. 106 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,810 Ooh. I think it's still at the dry cleaners 107 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,011 from your last performance. 108 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,414 I hope they didn't give it away. 109 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,616 Quartet outfits are a collector's item. 110 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,918 Hey, you might want to get to the office party 111 00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,753 a little bit early on Friday. 112 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,323 The white wine flies off the card table. 113 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:17,525 Ah, I hear that. Nothing I like better 114 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:19,560 than a warm Costco white. (chuckles) 115 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,062 God, I'm so nervous. This is the first time 116 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,665 I'll be singing in front of the coworkers. 117 00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:26,300 This is a huge gig for us. 118 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,768 We even have an opener. 119 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:28,969 The boss's kids are doing 120 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,639 the first act of Hamilton! 121 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,343 What are you reading? 122 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,077 You're so into it. 123 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,613 Is it one of your sexy vampire books? 124 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,784 No. It is a fascinating Supreme Court case from 1880 125 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,919 called Yick Wo v. Hopkins, 126 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,888 where the city of San Francisco had said 127 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,091 that it was illegal to operate laundries in a wooden building. 128 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,861 But the reason they did that was because 129 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:55,329 two-thirds of the wooden laundries 130 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,665 were operated by Chinese owners. 131 00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:01,101 So do you know what that court did? 132 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,670 (sighs) They used 133 00:05:02,703 --> 00:05:04,672 the Equal Protection Clause from the 14th Amendment 134 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,674 Ah. to find that law 135 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,742 discriminatory! 136 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,979 Boom. 137 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,814 Ha! 138 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,115 Cool! 139 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,417 Right? Oh, laundry's 140 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,552 tough-- we know that. 141 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:21,054 We have a stack on the washer up to the ceiling. 142 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,423 Uh, hey, do you need 143 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,091 a plus-one for Rebecca for Friday? 144 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,560 For Rebecca? What? No. No way. 145 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:27,828 Oh, are you guys still fighting? 146 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,697 You should call her, work it out. 147 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,565 I'm not gonna call her. She can call me. 148 00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:34,067 She's got my number. She's being such a petty child. 149 00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,669 And she started it. 150 00:05:35,703 --> 00:05:38,138 She's... such a baby. 151 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,640 (soft grunt) 152 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,018 (click) 153 00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:54,722 Hi. 154 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,590 Hey, babe! 155 00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:58,726 Ooh! Oh! Sorry I'm so late. Are you ready 156 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,961 for the best coffee you've ever had in your life? 157 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,830 Hell to the yeah. (laughs) 158 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,164 I can't believe it's been three weeks 159 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,533 and I haven't taken you here yet. 160 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:06,667 I've been coming to this place 161 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,001 ever since it was just a pop-up. 162 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,470 Oh. Cool. 163 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,671 (quietly): What? 164 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,605 Hey, Ichabod. The usual, 165 00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:12,873 please. You got it, Anna. 166 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,543 One semi-petite latte 167 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,710 with organic coconut milk. 168 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:18,912 And you, sir? Just coffee for me, dude. 169 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,682 What kind? 170 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,717 It's all up there. Oh. Okay. 171 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:26,654 Ooh, you've got single-origin, blended, 172 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,689 micro-lot, Indian filter, French press, 173 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,858 clover, Turkish, Kyoto drip, Neapolitan flip, 174 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,626 V60, Moka pot, drip pot, automatic drop... 175 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,027 (inhales deeply) 176 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,830 Um... single-origin, I guess. 177 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,767 Which single-origin? 178 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,702 We have 17 different kinds. 179 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,772 Eh... 180 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,006 uh... 181 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,508 Uh, you know what? 182 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,677 Uh, you pick your fave. (chuckles) 183 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,612 You got it. 184 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,146 Cool. Hmm. 185 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,989 This is awesome. 186 00:07:02,022 --> 00:07:03,657 I got to remember it. 187 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:07,495 Note: Silver Brew in Silver Lake. 188 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,129 Repeat: Silver Brew 189 00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:11,031 in Silver Lake. 190 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,533 Taylor loves this place. 191 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:13,801 She brought me here with Lena, Cara, 192 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,068 Gwynnie, Selena and Uzo. 193 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,137 All really great girls, except Uzo is... 194 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,939 a little bit of a name-dropper. 195 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,775 I can't believe you know all these famous people 196 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:24,211 just from tweezing their eyebrows at your salon. 197 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,213 Well, it's not always about the tweezing. 198 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,181 Sometimes it's about not tweezing. 199 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,683 Sometimes I send my clients 200 00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,685 on, like, six-month growth retreats. 201 00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:32,920 It's all about 202 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,556 the bold brow right now; the bigger the better. 203 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,958 Oh! Like the dad in American Pie? 204 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,093 Eugene Levy. Yes! Totally! 205 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,029 He's all over the salon inspiration board. 206 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,931 Before I met you, I didn't even know 207 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,232 eyebrows were, like, a big deal. 208 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,934 Oh, that's what I love about you. 209 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:47,901 Love me? 210 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,202 Love about you. 211 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,571 Oh. 212 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:51,972 Yeah. Got it. 213 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,941 You're so... refreshing. 214 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,977 I'm so tired of these skinny, bearded hipsters. 215 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,712 Thank God I'm not skinny, or hip. 216 00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,113 Or able to grow a beard. 217 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,248 I like you just the way you are. 218 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,250 Oh. (laughs) 219 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:06,286 So, Anna... I got you something. 220 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,756 I know-- we've only been seeing each other a couple weeks. 221 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,991 It's probably a little early to pop the gift bubble, 222 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,993 but this is technically not for you. 223 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,728 Josh, what did you do? 224 00:08:14,762 --> 00:08:16,864 Uh, I got you a present. 225 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,999 Sorry. Uh, I-I thought that was clear. 226 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,768 Okay. Close your eyes. 227 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,502 Okay. 228 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:25,673 Okay... 229 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,007 open 'em! 230 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:27,941 (gasps) 231 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,743 I got you a cat collar 232 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,879 for your cat! Oh, my God, 233 00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,146 this is so cute! Josh! 234 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,148 Gravy is gonna be the best-dressed cat 235 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,316 in Silver Lake. 236 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,951 You're so sweet. Thank you. 237 00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,319 I love that cat. 238 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,154 You know, I've never loved a cat before. 239 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,891 Seriously. I've always thought they were haunted. 240 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:45,058 ICHABOD: Here you go. 241 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,627 Whoa! 242 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,562 That foam has a lady's face! 243 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:49,897 Frida Kahlo? 244 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,298 Well done, Ichabod. 245 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,900 That is my girl right there. 246 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,768 Talk about brows. I wish I had 247 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,203 her hormone imbalance. 248 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,971 (laughing) 249 00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:00,908 Oh. Ha-ha-ha! 250 00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,610 Yeah, sorry, I didn't hear the... 251 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,211 (chuckling) 252 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,746 Wow. 253 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,957 (sighs): Oh, this is so great. 254 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:18,659 Hanging out. 255 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:21,061 You know, friends your own age who don't judge you. 256 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,330 Oh, so you're still in a fight with Paula? 257 00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:26,133 'Cause you keep bringing her up without saying her name. 258 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,669 Just, like, call her and work it out. 259 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:30,203 I'm not gonna call her. She can call me. 260 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,072 She has my number. Forget about Paula. 261 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:35,008 We are having young fun. Whatcha up to, Heath? 262 00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,778 Um, it's Heather, and I'm just doing a Miss Douche AMA. 263 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:39,880 A lot of questions about baking bread. 264 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:42,082 People are really confused about yeast. Mm. 265 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,951 What about you, V? Oh, just surfin'. 266 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:45,753 The Internet is so much more fun 267 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,354 now that it's a Josh Chan free zone. 268 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,256 I am so glad we un-followed him. 269 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,958 Oh, my God. Me, too. I feel that. 270 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,292 Oh, you both un-followed him? 271 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,261 You real stuck it to him, huh? 272 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,329 Yeah, it's pretty amazing. I don't even have an urge 273 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,231 to look at his feed anymore. 274 00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,367 It's, like, who... 275 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,069 cares? 276 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,239 Huh? 277 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,175 What you got there, girlfriend? 278 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:10,310 Oh, nothing. It's just an Internet quiz to figure out 279 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,746 what Tom Hanks movie my hairstyle is today. 280 00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,952 Uh, what? 281 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,021 What you got goin' on there, girlfriend? 282 00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:25,092 Oh, nothing. Just watching another pimple popper video. 283 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,160 (chuckles) Ugh. 284 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:29,863 Mmm. Coo. 285 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,432 Coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo, coo. 286 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,834 Coolio. 287 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,169 Yeah, I love Coolio. 288 00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,838 Yeah. "Gangsta's Paradise." (sputters) 289 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,107 Forget it. Miss that guy. 290 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,676 Yep. Yep. 291 00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,945 Mm-hmm. Yep. Miss him. I miss him. 292 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:48,381 I'm sorry, you guys miss Coolio? 293 00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:49,950 Yeah-huh. 294 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,385 Mmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 295 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:56,389 Silver Brew? 296 00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,090 What? 297 00:10:57,124 --> 00:10:58,859 Nothing. 298 00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,300 Oh, my God, who is that? 299 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,302 What? Oh, nothing. Just... (chuckles) 300 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,905 Always forget which Kardashian is which. (chuckles) 301 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,041 Oh, okay, describe her for me. Is she the tall one, 302 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:16,176 the naked one, or the mom one? 'Cause if you're talking 303 00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,012 about the model one or the lip one, those are Jenners. 304 00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,781 Jenners. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jenga. 305 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,316 Jumanji. 306 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,785 Robin Williams. 307 00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:25,452 Williams. 308 00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,087 Mmm. Willy. 309 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,455 Willy Wonka. 310 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,491 I want candy... 311 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,360 Are you both high right now? 312 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,100 (gasps) Oh, my God! Josh has a girlfriend. (gasps) Oh, my God. Josh has a girlfriend. 313 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,835 REBECCA/VALENCIA: What did you say? What did you say? 314 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,370 I knew you guys didn't miss Coolio. 315 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,082 Who is that? I-I don't know. 316 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,951 Okay, she's tagged as @annathebrowbarian. 317 00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,320 You click it. I can't. You click it, Okay, okay, okay, 318 00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,790 click it, click it, click it, click it, click it. okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 319 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,224 Her name is Anna... 320 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,494 Hicks. Anna Hicks? No one has that name. 321 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:11,198 That's like the romantic lead in an Adam Sandler movie. 322 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,466 Guys, don't do this. If you fall down the rabbit hole 323 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,936 of Internetting an ex's current girlfriend, 324 00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,938 you may never come back. 325 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,307 Shh... Look at her. Shh. 326 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,375 Oh, she's so pretty and cool. Also, she has, like, 327 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:26,313 a permanent flower crown filter face. What? How do you get that? 328 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,316 Oh, my God! I know who she is. I read about her in Us magazine. 329 00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,318 She does eyebrows for celebrities. 330 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:33,420 Yeah. There's, like, a three-month waiting list at her salon. 331 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,555 I heard Mary-Kate Olsen had to pretend 332 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,891 to be Elizabeth Olsen to get in. 333 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,427 Mm-hmm. Yeah. What?! Okay, I need to see, like, 334 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,030 a billion more pictures of her. Me, too. 335 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,199 No. I mean, you know what they say. Curiosity killed the... 336 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,235 Cat. Look at her. She has a cat. 337 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,436 She makes being a cat person 338 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:52,305 look cool. Exactly. Now I want a cat. 339 00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,307 What is going on? 340 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,810 I don't know. Up is down, and down is up. 341 00:12:56,844 --> 00:12:58,078 I-I... (sighs) 342 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,081 Hey. What are you doing for the next, 343 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,183 like, 13 hours? 344 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,052 Don't do anything healthy. 345 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,987 Don't be productive. 346 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,522 Give in to your desire. 347 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,925 * Research me obsessively 348 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,828 * Uh-huh 349 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:18,531 * Find out everything you can about me * 350 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:22,202 * You know you want to dig for me relentlessly * 351 00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:24,071 * Uh-huh 352 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,073 * Using every available search tool * 353 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:29,242 * And all forms of social media * 354 00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:30,477 Yes. 355 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,012 * You know you want to look 356 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,513 * At my Instagram 357 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,415 * But it's private 358 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,017 * So Google me until you find out * 359 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,019 * Where I went to high school 360 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:42,289 * And then set up a fake Instagram account * 361 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,557 * Using the name and the photo of someone * 362 00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:46,526 * That went to my high school 363 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,296 * And hope that I remember that person a little bit * 364 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,131 Ah. No. 365 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,000 * Then request access to my private Instagram * 366 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:54,902 * From the fake account 367 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:58,271 * And in the meantime scour my work Instagram account * 368 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:01,408 * 'Cause that one's public 369 00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,111 * Research me obsessively 370 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,446 * Uh-huh 371 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:11,051 * Find an actual picture of my parents' house on Google Maps * 372 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,321 * You know you want to hunt for me tirelessly * 373 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,957 * Uh-huh 374 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,625 * It's not stalking 'cause the information * 375 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,961 * Is all technically public 376 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,996 That's true, that's true. Very true. 377 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,498 * Check out every guy I used to date * 378 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,935 * And deduce who broke up with who * 379 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:32,639 * Based on the hesitation in our smiles * 380 00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,208 So many unanswered questions. 381 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:38,211 Did I go to the University of Texas? 382 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,247 Am I an EMT? 383 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,950 Is that my obituary in which I'm survived 384 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:44,617 by my loving husband, Eddie, of 50 years; 385 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,954 children, Susan and Matthew; and grandchild, Stephanie? 386 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,522 Wait, no. That's just all people with my same name. 387 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,391 VALENCIA/REBECCA: Oh. Or is it? 388 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,561 Pay only $9.99 on a background check Web site to know for sure. 389 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,529 I'll do it. Yeah. (scoffs) Yeah. 390 00:14:56,563 --> 00:15:00,267 * So don't stop, just research me obsessively * 391 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:03,470 * Uh-huh, and in lieu of flowers * 392 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,206 * Donate to other me's favorite charity * 393 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:08,041 Aw. Aw. 394 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,710 * Research me, just research me * 395 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,513 * And research me and research me * 396 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,048 * Oops 397 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:17,951 * It's three days later. 398 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,589 None of this makes any sense. Not at all. 399 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:25,325 There's no way Josh could land someone that cool. 400 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,693 You guys are still here? 401 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,595 You've been here for three days. 402 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,463 Well, it would've been a lot less time if someone 403 00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:33,200 had stopped me from creating a fake Instagram account. 404 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:36,469 I told you that's illegal, and I cannot go to jail right now. 405 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,338 I am one stamp away 406 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,607 on my frozen yogurt punch card from scoring a freebie, so... 407 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,010 (groans) What could she possibly see in Josh Chan? 408 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,145 I-I have literally no idea 409 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,347 what he has to offer to someone like this. Right? 410 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,216 You both dated him. 411 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,683 Yeah. But we're mortals. Yeah. 412 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,020 And she's like a-a fairy angel. 413 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:53,720 Yeah. I mean, really, 414 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,322 what could she see in a guy 415 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:58,725 from West Covina who still wears stitchy jeans? 416 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,060 And supermarket flip-flops. 417 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:00,760 And lives with his mother. 418 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,162 Yeah. He's the worst. 419 00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:04,297 I once saw him bite off a toenail. 420 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,666 Well, I mean, he is very flexible and strong. 421 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,268 And muscular. 422 00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,569 Yeah, and his skin color. Would you say that's, 423 00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,571 like, caramel? It's just so yummy. 424 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:13,206 Mmm. Delicious. 425 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,574 Wow, you guys just did, like, 426 00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:16,409 a whole loop-dee-loop there. 427 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,546 Anyway, I don't know. This-this isn't adding up. 428 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:22,282 I think it's on us to get to the bottom of this. 429 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,451 Yeah. I mean, just because we're over Josh doesn't mean 430 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,353 we can let some trendy girl exploit him. 431 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:28,721 It's not right. 432 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,091 You are exactly right. We need to investigate. Yeah. 433 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:34,294 I'll drive. Let's Thelma and Louise this thing. Okay. 434 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,296 Great. 435 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:40,067 (door opens) Thelma and Louise drove off a cliff, so... 436 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,469 (door shuts) ...be careful. 437 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,772 (sighs) 438 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,011 (humming) 439 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,119 Ba-da-ga-da, ba-da-ga-da, ba-da-ga-da, ba-da-ga-da. 440 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,321 Ga-da-ba-da, ga-da-ba-da, ga-da-ba-da, ga-da-ba-da, 441 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:02,722 ga-da-ba-da. Warming up? 442 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:04,457 Yeah. 443 00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:07,427 I try to lube the cords well in advance of a show. 444 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,828 Ah, the West Brovinas. 445 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,463 You're the buzz of the shipping department. 446 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:11,664 Heard so much about you guys. 447 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:12,732 You have? 448 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:13,733 Yeah. From you. 449 00:17:13,766 --> 00:17:15,335 Every day. (chuckles) 450 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,405 (chuckles) I-I do love barbershop. 451 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,240 Mmm. Everyone needs a hobby. 452 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:22,242 Hank, our tenor, likes to say, 453 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:24,577 "It's cheaper than golf and safer than whores." 454 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,579 Wait, maybe it's "cheaper than whores 455 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,248 and safer than golf." Now... Well, 456 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,250 personally, I can't wait. 457 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,152 I love close harmony singing. 458 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,721 I die over a perfectly hit seventh. 459 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:37,124 Wow. Uh, that's cool, 460 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,791 Tanya. Yeah. See you tonight. 461 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,728 (humming) 462 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,063 Ba-da-ga-da, ba-da-ga-da, ba-da-ga-da... 463 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,805 I'm so nervous. Okay, listen, 464 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,874 since you're a sneaky-stalky virgin, 465 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,610 just play it cool, okay? She won't notice anything Okay, coolio. 466 00:17:57,644 --> 00:18:00,813 if you don't notice anything. Okay, cool. So we're just here to... 467 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,883 Observe and analyze, like in the style of Margaret Mead, Right. Mm-hmm. Yep. 468 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,819 Jane Goodall, Dian Fossey... Mm-hmm. What? Who? 469 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,422 Just figure things out. Okay, I'm not stupid. 470 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,691 You just reference obscure things all the time. I know. Mm. 471 00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:15,662 Oh, my God. (whimpers) Wait, O.M.G., her outfit is beyond. 472 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,531 And I saw that her eyebrows are staggering, of course. (scoffs) 473 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,233 No, I know you're jonesing, but I can't give you 474 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,368 any more of the stuff. 475 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:24,837 Because. No, I'm still here. 476 00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:26,406 I'm waiting on a shipment. 477 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:29,276 Mm-hmm. 478 00:18:29,309 --> 00:18:31,611 * 479 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:35,382 What is that? 480 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:38,685 (Rebecca gasps) (Valencia stammers) 481 00:18:38,718 --> 00:18:40,553 Um... 482 00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:43,190 Okay, I'm sorry, is she giving all these women 483 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,692 some sort of white powder? Cocaine? 484 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,427 I mean, I was thinking the same thing. 485 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,462 Or meth or crushed-up oxy. Who knows? Oh. 486 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,264 (shushing) Here she comes, 487 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:53,600 here she comes, here she comes. Peas and carrots, Mmm... 488 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,468 peas and carrots, peas and carrots, peas and carrots, What are you doing? 489 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,470 peas and carrots. I'm saying "peas and carrots." 490 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:59,472 It's what you do when you're faking chitchat. 491 00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,874 I did it in my eighth grade church play, Don't Be Different. 492 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:04,511 Peas and carrots, peas and carrots, peas and carrots, (stammers) It's... 493 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:06,513 peas and carrots, peas and carrots, p... You're saying it so loud. Just stop. Just... 494 00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,748 Because some girls abuse it 495 00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,517 and then I have to completely cut them off. 496 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,252 Oh, my God. You're right. 497 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,487 She is a drug salesperson. 498 00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,390 I'll call you back. Oh, she sees us. 499 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,893 She's a drug dealer. 500 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:24,497 Josh's girlfriend is a stone-cold narco. 501 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,367 I mean, I guess it makes sense. 502 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,769 You can't pay gentrified commercial rents 503 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,771 by plucking forehead hair. 504 00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,273 We have to tell Josh. 505 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,674 There's no way he'll figure it out. 506 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,576 I mean, let's face it, not the smartest. 507 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,245 No, no, no. He's not so bright. 508 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,647 He once told me his favorite animal was Antarctica. 509 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,383 He thinks eau de toilette is called that because, oh, 510 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,817 it's from a toilet. Oh, it's from a toilet. 511 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,920 It's so sad. Also, he talks to telemarketers. 512 00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:49,456 He'll believe anything anyone tells him. 513 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,424 He's too trusting, too sweet. 514 00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:52,925 I mean, the guy just radiates sunshine. 515 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:53,993 I love his mouth. 516 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:54,894 Yeah. 517 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:57,530 We loop-dee-looped again! 518 00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,932 We have to tell him. Yes. 519 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,269 We can't just sit here on our big fat lazy fat cans all day. 520 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,470 All right, let's go. Okay. 521 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:04,937 Um, hey, while we're driving, 522 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:07,407 let's talk about your continued body dysmorphia, 523 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,542 'cause I thought we'd nipped it in the bud. 524 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,679 So, body dysmorphia is often caused by personal trauma, 525 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:16,015 such as childhood teasing or parental overinvolvement. 526 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,817 (thud) (gasps) 527 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,353 That's weird. Did you leave your purse on the ground? 528 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:21,954 No, I didn't bring a purse. 529 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,990 I brought my mini calf-hair crossbody. We're on the go. 530 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:27,294 Yeah, which is why I brought my high school JanSport backpack. 531 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,962 Wait. So what did I run over? 532 00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,698 (gasps) Oh, my God! 533 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,266 Oh, my God! 534 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,837 Oh, my God! Gravy?! Oh! 535 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,572 (mewing) 536 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,875 What happened? Who ran my cat?! 537 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,050 Oh, my little baby. It's gonna be okay. 538 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,321 It's gonna be okay. (meowing) 539 00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,988 Did you see who hit my cat? 540 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:59,392 Uh, uh, uh... Um, um, we saw... we saw it. 541 00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,927 It was a hit-and-run. Someone... 542 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,929 It was a thoughtless man. It was a man! 543 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,831 It's always a man! 544 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,599 Yeah, it was a man with, um... Uh-huh. 545 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,000 Um, a hat. Yeah. 546 00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,603 And-and one eye and a parrot here. 547 00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:13,072 A pirate? A pirate hit my cat? That's insane. 548 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,674 Yeah, it was... it was insane. (meowing) 549 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,443 That's why she remembers it so vividly. 550 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:18,945 It was a guy with, like, yellow teeth and black eyeliner. 551 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:20,947 I bet it's one of those creeps 552 00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,749 who plays Jack Sparrow on Hollywood Boulevard. 553 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,352 Oh. (crying) Yup. Um, hey, 554 00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,920 we were... were just gonna drive your cat to the hospital. 555 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,089 Why don't we take you, too? (meowing) 556 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,758 (whispering): What are you talking about? 557 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,326 It's fine. Shh. 558 00:21:38,097 --> 00:21:40,367 This is all my fault. 559 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,902 I was on the phone, and I left the door open. 560 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:45,071 If anything happens to him, I don't know what I'll do. 561 00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,440 (door opens) (sighs) 562 00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:50,009 Will you excuse me for one moment? 563 00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:52,412 (door closes, dogs barking) 564 00:21:52,445 --> 00:21:54,080 What are we doing? 565 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,982 I'm over there all by myself comforting the enemy, 566 00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:58,050 who smells like heaven, by the way. I want to get out of here! 567 00:21:58,084 --> 00:22:00,587 Shh. Shh. Just-just play it cool, okay? (sighs) 568 00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:03,490 So, listen, it hit me when we hit the cat. (laughs) 569 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,725 We can't just tell Josh about Anna's drug business. 570 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,494 He'll never believe us. 571 00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:10,730 Okay, we need proof, so I intend to do... just that. 572 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,465 Okay, before you go over there, 573 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:15,735 I told her that your name is Madge, and my name is Allegra. 574 00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:17,136 Madge? 575 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,738 So you. 576 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:20,373 Great. Yeah. 577 00:22:20,407 --> 00:22:21,741 Go. Go. Go. 578 00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:23,743 Hey. Hey, honey. 579 00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,145 So, the nurse wants you to fill out all this information. 580 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,615 I just figured I'd do it since you're so upset. 581 00:22:28,648 --> 00:22:29,882 So it's just you and me. Okay. 582 00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:31,384 Don't think. Just rapid fire 583 00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:32,752 answer my questions. 584 00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:34,754 So, um, name, age, height, weight? 585 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,155 Uh, Gravy Miffy Muffins, 586 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,491 uh, six years old, 18 inches, eight pounds? No, 587 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:39,892 honey, honey. Your name, age, height, weight. 588 00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:41,761 They need it for you for some reason, okay? 589 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,396 Okay, so, stay with me. 590 00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:45,498 Stay with me. Rapid fire. Stay with me, okay? Okay. 591 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:47,767 So, name, age, height, weight, occupation, income, 592 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,869 uh, felonies, misdemeanors, trouble with the law? 593 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:51,604 Uh, you're going too fast. Okay, got it. 594 00:22:51,638 --> 00:22:52,905 I will go slower, okay? I'll slow it down. 595 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:54,173 But still, rapid fire with me. 596 00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,609 Okay, right with me? Rapid fire. Okay. So name? 597 00:22:56,643 --> 00:22:58,478 Anna Hicks. Okay. Age? 29. 598 00:22:58,511 --> 00:22:59,746 Older than I thought. Good for you. 599 00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:01,614 Um, height, weight? Rapid fire? 600 00:23:01,648 --> 00:23:04,083 Five, three. I don't weigh myself. Yes, you do. Everyone does. 601 00:23:04,116 --> 00:23:05,885 No, I really don't. Put down 115, Madge. 602 00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:07,186 Got it. Um, okay. 603 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,921 So many questions on this stupid form! 604 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:10,757 (laughs) It's so thorough. I don't know why. 605 00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,124 Um, any... any run-ins with the law? (door closes) 606 00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,427 Like, felonies, misdemeanors? Oh, my God! 607 00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:18,665 Is he dead? No. He's just fine. 608 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:21,200 We reattached his tail, and he's gonna be A-okay. 609 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:23,803 Thank God. My little Gravy Wavy. We just didn't 610 00:23:23,836 --> 00:23:26,072 want this collar to get lost in the shuffle. It's so pretty. 611 00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:28,140 Thank you. My boyfriend got it for me. Mm. 612 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,477 Oh, thanks. (sighs) 613 00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:33,012 Um, so you have... you have... you have a boyfriend, huh? 614 00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:35,147 That was the next question on this weird form. 615 00:23:35,181 --> 00:23:37,750 But you have a...? So, you... Yes, to... yes, boyfriend, yes? 616 00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:40,553 Yeah. Haven't said it out loud yet, but, um, 617 00:23:40,587 --> 00:23:41,921 I guess he is my boyfriend. 618 00:23:41,954 --> 00:23:43,690 It's funny how hard moments make you realize 619 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,091 who really matters to you. 620 00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:48,695 Mm. 621 00:23:48,728 --> 00:23:51,598 You know, um, since Gravy's A-okay, 622 00:23:51,631 --> 00:23:53,866 why don't I take your mind off of this, 623 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,468 and we'll just gab like girls? 624 00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:57,203 So tell me about the boyfriend, girlfriend. 625 00:23:57,236 --> 00:23:59,138 (laughs) Um, his name is Josh, 626 00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,240 and we've only been seeing each other for a couple weeks, 627 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:04,944 so, I guess it's casual, but he's so nice, so helpful. 628 00:24:04,977 --> 00:24:06,779 I've been slammed at the salon lately, 629 00:24:06,813 --> 00:24:09,181 and he's been helping me out a ton, making deliveries, 630 00:24:09,215 --> 00:24:11,851 pickups, going to Mexico to get product. 631 00:24:11,884 --> 00:24:13,820 Mexico! Oh, my God! And he doesn't even 632 00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:16,122 ask any questions. He's so nice. Yeah. 633 00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:17,990 And I feel bad for him. He's been through 634 00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:20,927 some really tough times, had some toxic relationships. 635 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,962 Toxic? Is that... is that, uh, his word, 636 00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:24,564 your word, or Britney's word? 637 00:24:24,597 --> 00:24:26,065 His word. Toxic. 638 00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:27,867 He doesn't like to badmouth his exes, 639 00:24:27,900 --> 00:24:30,603 but this one girl he dated hounded him to propose. 640 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:33,873 Hounded? Is that his word, your word or Elvis's word? 641 00:24:33,906 --> 00:24:36,743 His word. Hounded. And then he dated this 642 00:24:36,776 --> 00:24:38,745 psycho who-- get this-- quit her job, 643 00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:40,880 and then moved across the country to be with him, 644 00:24:40,913 --> 00:24:43,282 even though they hadn't seen each other in, like, ten years. 645 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,884 Crazy, right? 646 00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:46,886 It also... it also could be unfair. 647 00:24:46,919 --> 00:24:49,589 You know, it could be the male gaze version of the narrative. 648 00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:51,257 No. This girl sounded legit bonker balls. 649 00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:52,959 She told him that she was pregnant 650 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:55,294 with his baby, and then two seconds later, said 651 00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,763 that she wasn't pregnant with his baby, 652 00:24:56,796 --> 00:24:59,265 and then begged him to have... period sex. 653 00:24:59,298 --> 00:25:01,167 Excuse me. What happened? 654 00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:03,102 (speaks high-pitched gibberish) 655 00:25:03,135 --> 00:25:05,171 Let's not slut-shame the lady 656 00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:07,173 just 'cause her libido doesn't go away during menstruation. 657 00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:09,976 That girl, whoever she is, should be commended. 658 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:13,646 * Period sex, period sex... 659 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,782 Okay, stop. Okay. When Josh finds out 660 00:25:15,815 --> 00:25:17,650 who ran over Gravy, he's going to flip. 661 00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:19,318 He absolutely loves this cat. 662 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:23,556 Right, but, I mean, how is he even gonna find her? Him? 663 00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:25,257 The salon's security footage. 664 00:25:25,291 --> 00:25:28,060 What? What? 665 00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:29,929 I took over the salon from a jeweler, 666 00:25:29,962 --> 00:25:31,931 so the entire front of the salon has cameras. 667 00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:35,868 Josh and I are gonna find the person who ran over my baby 668 00:25:35,902 --> 00:25:37,970 if it's the last thing that I do. 669 00:25:38,004 --> 00:25:41,207 Did you hear that... Madge? 670 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,710 I did, Allegra. 671 00:25:48,948 --> 00:25:51,350 Oh, yeah, we could buy... we could buy that place, 672 00:25:51,383 --> 00:25:53,920 or this place looks quite promising. 673 00:25:53,953 --> 00:25:55,354 Maybe we could buy it. Okay, look, I was trying to mislead 674 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,023 the neighbors to make them think we're lesbians looking for 675 00:25:57,056 --> 00:25:58,257 a new house. We really need 676 00:25:58,290 --> 00:26:00,026 to get that security video, 677 00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:02,161 or we are absolute toast, so how are we gonna get in? 678 00:26:02,194 --> 00:26:04,764 Do you have a diamond ring that we could use to cut glass? 679 00:26:04,797 --> 00:26:07,700 Maybe there's a kitty door or something...? How about we use these? 680 00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:10,002 Oh, my God, she has the cutest stuff. 681 00:26:10,036 --> 00:26:11,938 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You stole those? Yes. 682 00:26:11,971 --> 00:26:13,272 I don't feel bad about it, either. 683 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:14,807 She was begging for me to do it. 684 00:26:14,841 --> 00:26:17,109 Leaving the house with that fancy purse? 685 00:26:17,143 --> 00:26:19,946 And then leaving it on the floor all wide open 686 00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:21,881 with the tip of her keys poking out? 687 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,083 Did I take her keys? Damn right I did. 688 00:26:24,116 --> 00:26:25,852 Anyone would have done it. 689 00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:27,620 If anything, I'm the real victim here. 690 00:26:27,654 --> 00:26:30,790 Okay, so we need to have a serious talk about consent. 691 00:26:30,823 --> 00:26:32,324 So, consent is something that must be initiated... 692 00:26:32,358 --> 00:26:34,927 Okay. Wow. 693 00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:36,763 (alarm beeping) Aah! Aah! Aah! 694 00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:38,097 Don't mind us. We're just two lesbians. 695 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:39,932 Nothing to see. Nothing to see. Aah! Aah! 696 00:26:39,966 --> 00:26:41,267 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, where is it? Where...? 697 00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:42,769 Okay, okay, okay, um, um, um... 698 00:26:42,802 --> 00:26:43,970 Oh, my God, look at this place! Oh! Oh! 699 00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:45,672 Aah! Aah! Okay, okay. Uh... 700 00:26:45,705 --> 00:26:46,739 Okay, okay, we have to guess the code. How? 701 00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:48,040 I didn't study up enough on her. 702 00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:49,742 Okay, I'll try. Uh... 703 00:26:49,776 --> 00:26:50,877 How about her birthday? 704 00:26:50,910 --> 00:26:52,244 No. Oh, Gravy's birthday. No. 705 00:26:52,278 --> 00:26:53,412 Do you know Gravy's birthday? 706 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,314 Just... Josh's birthday. 707 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:57,316 Mm... No. Yeah. Yeah. Fail. 708 00:26:57,349 --> 00:26:58,718 Uh... Uh, her parents' credit scores? Okay, okay. 709 00:26:58,751 --> 00:27:00,720 Uh, no. Uh, no. Ugh! 710 00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:03,155 Her weight! Try her weight! 115! Try it! 711 00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:05,391 Okay. Okay. Yeah. 712 00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:07,126 No. She doesn't weigh herself, remember? 713 00:27:07,159 --> 00:27:09,395 Of course she does. Hold on. 714 00:27:09,428 --> 00:27:11,130 Goal weight! That's it! What? 715 00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:12,932 113. Do it! Do it! Oh! 716 00:27:12,965 --> 00:27:15,301 Do it! (dings) 717 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:17,904 I knew that bitch weighed herself. 718 00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:25,812 (upbeat music playing, lively chatter) 719 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,057 I'm really nervous. 720 00:27:38,090 --> 00:27:39,358 Yeah, I get that. 721 00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:41,093 Do what I do when I get nervous. 722 00:27:41,127 --> 00:27:42,461 Take off your underwear. 723 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:44,096 You mean, picture people in their underwear? 724 00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:46,198 What? Why would that make me more comfortable? Yeah. 725 00:27:46,232 --> 00:27:48,034 That's just awkward. 726 00:27:48,067 --> 00:27:50,937 Nah, I walk around with my bits all wango tango. 727 00:27:50,970 --> 00:27:52,338 It's very relaxing. 728 00:27:52,371 --> 00:27:53,840 Oh, I'm doing a version of that. 729 00:27:53,873 --> 00:27:55,207 Uh, instead of underwear, 730 00:27:55,241 --> 00:27:56,809 I'm wearing an old T-shirt upside down. 731 00:27:56,843 --> 00:27:58,811 We haven't done laundry in ages. 732 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:01,848 Paula's been busy, and I don't know how to work the machine. 733 00:28:01,881 --> 00:28:04,450 Where is Paula? I don't see her with the wives. 734 00:28:04,483 --> 00:28:07,186 She's coming. She first had to do some law stuff. 735 00:28:07,219 --> 00:28:08,487 What kind of law stuff? 736 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,924 I sincerely have no idea. 737 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,429 I just think the relationship between the 21st 738 00:28:17,463 --> 00:28:19,198 and the 18th amendment is amazing. 739 00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,100 I mean, don't you think? 740 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,902 Actually, I've just been sitting here thinking 741 00:28:22,935 --> 00:28:25,004 about what I'm gonna pick up for dinner on my way home. 742 00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:26,906 I finally ran out of the frozen dinners 743 00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:29,175 my wife made for us before she... I'm telling you, 744 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:31,177 I have not been this obsessed about something 745 00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:33,746 since the first season of The Wire. 746 00:28:33,780 --> 00:28:35,281 Oh. Yeah. 747 00:28:35,314 --> 00:28:37,383 You don't watch The Wire? No. 748 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:39,351 (gasping) What? I know. I know. 749 00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:41,153 Oh, I am so jealous of you 750 00:28:41,187 --> 00:28:43,222 that you get to watch it for the first time. 751 00:28:43,255 --> 00:28:45,858 Oh, ho! Rebecca and I binged that in, like, two days. 752 00:28:45,892 --> 00:28:47,293 We loved it. 753 00:28:47,326 --> 00:28:49,896 She is so Avon. I am so Stringer Bell. It is... 754 00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:52,264 Why am I talking about Rebecca? I'm sorry. Never mind. 755 00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,266 We could talk about my wife. I did just bring her up. 756 00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:56,535 Oh, of course. I'm sorry, honey. Go ahead. 757 00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,337 She also pre-ordered, like, 758 00:28:58,370 --> 00:29:00,773 a year's worth supply of toilet paper for us. 759 00:29:00,807 --> 00:29:02,508 She was so thoughtful. I mean, even in her darkest times. 760 00:29:02,541 --> 00:29:04,944 She was like, "Sunil, I..." What time is it?! 761 00:29:04,977 --> 00:29:08,414 I don't know. Oh. N Oh, my God. 762 00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:11,884 Okay, I can make it. I can... I can make it. 763 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,820 I can... I can make it. I can make it. 764 00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:15,521 Where are you going? I can make it. 765 00:29:15,554 --> 00:29:17,289 I can make it. I can... make it. 766 00:29:17,323 --> 00:29:19,025 I can make it. 767 00:29:19,058 --> 00:29:22,428 (in harmony): * Let me call you sweetheart 768 00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:27,299 * I'm in love with you 769 00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:30,136 * Let me hear you whisper 770 00:29:30,169 --> 00:29:35,174 * That you love me, too 771 00:29:35,207 --> 00:29:43,249 * Keep the love light glowing in your eyes so true * 772 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:46,418 * Let me call you sweetheart 773 00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:50,322 * I'm in love 774 00:29:50,356 --> 00:29:53,059 * With... 775 00:29:53,092 --> 00:29:55,327 * You 776 00:29:55,361 --> 00:29:58,164 * With you... 777 00:29:58,197 --> 00:30:00,466 Hey. I made it. I made it. I made it. I made it. 778 00:30:00,499 --> 00:30:02,201 I made it. I made it. 779 00:30:02,234 --> 00:30:03,870 I made it. Oh. 780 00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,604 Go, so thirsty. 781 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,174 (song ends) Aah! Oh! 782 00:30:08,207 --> 00:30:11,343 (applause) 783 00:30:11,377 --> 00:30:12,578 That's the end of the first song, right? 784 00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:14,146 I just missed the end of the first song? 785 00:30:14,180 --> 00:30:16,115 That was the encore. 786 00:30:27,193 --> 00:30:29,461 Okay, I'll look on this computer for the footage. 787 00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:31,063 Uh, as long as we're here, you look for evidence 788 00:30:31,097 --> 00:30:32,398 of drugs, okay? Go through the drawers. 789 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:35,401 Okay. Got it. 790 00:30:35,434 --> 00:30:36,936 Hmm. 791 00:30:36,969 --> 00:30:38,337 Okay. 792 00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:40,306 Found the footage from this afternoon. 793 00:30:40,339 --> 00:30:41,573 Let's look at all the angles. 794 00:30:41,607 --> 00:30:43,175 Maybe... 795 00:30:43,209 --> 00:30:45,344 maybe it didn't actually get us hitting the cat. 796 00:30:45,377 --> 00:30:47,013 Oh, no. There it is. Clear as day. 797 00:30:47,046 --> 00:30:48,948 We really... Yeah, we ran over that cat. 798 00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:52,018 Hmm. My brows are a little thin, aren't they? 799 00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:53,185 Ugh. 800 00:30:53,219 --> 00:30:55,154 They're '90s brows. Damn it. 801 00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:56,622 Hey, what are you doing over there? Did you find drugs? 802 00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:59,358 (laughing): No. But this lotion... I'm addicted. 803 00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:01,227 Dude. What? 804 00:31:01,260 --> 00:31:03,162 Wow. Never mind, I'll take care of this. 805 00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:05,364 Okay. Delete, delete, delete. 806 00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:06,532 Delete, empty trash. 807 00:31:06,565 --> 00:31:08,234 Oh, thank God. 808 00:31:08,267 --> 00:31:10,136 Yes. Whew. 809 00:31:10,169 --> 00:31:11,370 Oh, what a weight off me. 810 00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:12,638 I wish I could do that in my own life. 811 00:31:12,671 --> 00:31:15,107 Just erase things that happened. 812 00:31:15,141 --> 00:31:18,510 God, I would erase all of junior prom and sixth grade, 813 00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:20,512 and so many courtroom farts. 814 00:31:20,546 --> 00:31:21,981 Okay, great. Let's get out of here. 815 00:31:22,014 --> 00:31:23,649 Wait. Wait, wait. It just occurred to me. 816 00:31:23,682 --> 00:31:25,651 If she's doing anything illegal, it will be on these tapes. 817 00:31:25,684 --> 00:31:26,618 We could show them to Josh. 818 00:31:26,652 --> 00:31:28,520 (sighs) I really don't want to get caught. 819 00:31:28,554 --> 00:31:30,156 V, look. I know this is dangerous. 820 00:31:30,189 --> 00:31:31,690 And I know how we both feel about Josh, 821 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,260 but he's an innocent man being turned into a drug mule. 822 00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:36,028 Yeah. God only knows what he's sticking in his rectum. 823 00:31:36,062 --> 00:31:37,396 Oh, my God, have we talked about that? 824 00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:39,065 What? Oh, so he never... 825 00:31:39,966 --> 00:31:41,267 Nothing. Uh-uh, uh-uh. 826 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:43,035 No. Uh-uh. What was I doing? Oh, right. 827 00:31:43,069 --> 00:31:45,171 I'm gonna fast-forward through this to see if she 828 00:31:45,204 --> 00:31:47,006 is a hopper movin' g-packs. She's no corner boy, 829 00:31:47,039 --> 00:31:48,174 she's pushin' real weight. 830 00:31:48,207 --> 00:31:49,675 Ugh. 831 00:31:49,708 --> 00:31:51,343 It's The Wire. 832 00:31:51,377 --> 00:31:52,678 Have you never seen The Wire? 833 00:31:52,711 --> 00:31:54,480 Mm. Am I supposed to? 834 00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:56,182 Oh, my God. I am so jealous of you right now. 835 00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:57,683 You get to watch it from the beginning. 836 00:31:57,716 --> 00:31:59,318 Paula and I binged the whole thing 837 00:31:59,351 --> 00:32:01,453 in two days, and we were obsessed. 838 00:32:01,487 --> 00:32:03,155 We talked like Avon and Stringer Bell 839 00:32:03,189 --> 00:32:04,556 for a solid month. Hmm. Mm-hmm. 840 00:32:04,590 --> 00:32:06,092 Wait. Why am I talking about Paula? 841 00:32:06,125 --> 00:32:07,359 I hate her right now. 842 00:32:07,393 --> 00:32:09,428 Okay, fast-forward, let's see. 843 00:32:09,461 --> 00:32:10,629 She's plucking, she's plucking. 844 00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:12,464 She's plucking. More plucking. 845 00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:13,565 Oh, there it is, there it is. (gasps) 846 00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,367 Look, she's handing envelopes 847 00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:18,070 of drugs to clients. Wow. 848 00:32:18,104 --> 00:32:20,106 This is insane. She's giving envelopes full of drugs 849 00:32:20,139 --> 00:32:22,074 to people out in broad daylight. It's so brazen. 850 00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:23,976 This is such important work. 851 00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:25,111 I mean, we're gonna blow this wide open. 852 00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:26,712 We could get a Peabody for this. 853 00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:28,480 Oh, look, look. She's taking the powder out of the envelope, 854 00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:30,116 and then she's putting it on the table. 855 00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:31,550 She's showing them how to do the drugs. 856 00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:34,520 REBECCA: Oh, she's gonna shoot up the drugs 857 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:36,122 just like in Breaking Bad. Have you seen Breaking Bad? 858 00:32:36,155 --> 00:32:38,190 Eh. How do you live your life? 859 00:32:38,224 --> 00:32:39,391 I go outside. That's fair. 860 00:32:39,425 --> 00:32:40,626 Okay, here we go, here we go. 861 00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:42,261 REBECCA: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 862 00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:43,395 She's gonna do the drugs. 863 00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:44,596 She's getting high off her own supply. 864 00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:46,198 It's going in her mouth. No, no, no, no. 865 00:32:46,232 --> 00:32:47,266 It's going up her nose. 866 00:32:47,299 --> 00:32:48,334 No, no, no. Mmm. 867 00:32:48,367 --> 00:32:50,336 It's going on her eyebrows. 868 00:32:50,369 --> 00:32:52,704 She's putting coke on her eyebrows? Is that a thing? 869 00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:54,440 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 870 00:32:54,473 --> 00:32:56,108 She's, she's saying something. Let me... 871 00:32:56,142 --> 00:32:58,010 Give me a second, I can lipread pretty well. 872 00:32:58,044 --> 00:33:01,247 My semester abroad, I took a deaf lover, okay? 873 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,682 All right. Uh-- Ooh, she's about to say something. Okay, uh... 874 00:33:03,715 --> 00:33:06,218 Put this on your eyebrows 875 00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:08,787 two times a day for a month, 876 00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:12,024 and you will see a significant change in your eyebrow growth. 877 00:33:13,392 --> 00:33:16,762 Oh. Oh, it, it makes your eyebrows grow. 878 00:33:16,795 --> 00:33:19,098 Well, that's brilliant. 879 00:33:19,131 --> 00:33:20,599 And disappointing. 880 00:33:20,632 --> 00:33:22,368 (scoffs) Yeah. 881 00:33:22,401 --> 00:33:23,769 I guess that means that... 882 00:33:23,802 --> 00:33:25,137 It means that Josh is dating 883 00:33:25,171 --> 00:33:26,638 a super fly entrepreneur 884 00:33:26,672 --> 00:33:28,640 who's probably just using products 885 00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:30,409 that haven't been outwardly cleared 886 00:33:30,442 --> 00:33:33,212 by the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetics Act. 887 00:33:33,245 --> 00:33:36,248 Great. 888 00:33:40,452 --> 00:33:42,154 Look, I-I said I was sorry. 889 00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:43,489 You're not sorry. 890 00:33:43,522 --> 00:33:45,124 No. Uh, well, I-I heard the last note, 891 00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:46,625 and it was beautiful. 892 00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:49,661 Okay, okay. I messed up and this is all my fault. 893 00:33:49,695 --> 00:33:51,230 You know how much the Brovinas mean to me, 894 00:33:51,263 --> 00:33:52,431 but you don't care. 895 00:33:52,464 --> 00:33:54,100 Yes, I do care. I just-- 896 00:33:54,133 --> 00:33:55,634 I should have set an alarm or something. 897 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:57,136 I got, I got caught up in something. 898 00:33:57,169 --> 00:33:58,637 Law thing. Oh, well, yeah. 899 00:33:58,670 --> 00:34:00,372 And I-- You-you know what? But it's wrong. 900 00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:01,640 And I know that now. 901 00:34:01,673 --> 00:34:03,242 I have been so supportive, 902 00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:04,443 and I think what you're doing is great, 903 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:05,677 but I feel left out. 904 00:34:05,711 --> 00:34:07,546 You're so distracted lately. 905 00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:10,416 I know, I know, but I-- Look, I-I-I will try to do better. 906 00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:13,685 I was great out there, Paula. 907 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,388 I nailed that low "A". 908 00:34:16,422 --> 00:34:18,157 Hank's wife said I sounded like Lou Rawls. 909 00:34:18,190 --> 00:34:20,626 Tanya, from shipping bought six CDs 910 00:34:20,659 --> 00:34:22,794 for her care packages for the troops. 911 00:34:22,828 --> 00:34:24,230 Does she not support the troops? 912 00:34:24,263 --> 00:34:25,364 Wow. 913 00:34:25,397 --> 00:34:26,765 Fair. Fair. 914 00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:28,234 Horrible time for a joke. 915 00:34:28,267 --> 00:34:29,435 Scott. 916 00:34:29,468 --> 00:34:32,238 I am so sorry. 917 00:34:32,271 --> 00:34:35,474 Okay, this is all-- this is 100% my fault. 918 00:34:35,507 --> 00:34:37,109 I don't care who's fault it is. 919 00:34:38,544 --> 00:34:42,181 I just feel bad right now. 920 00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:49,655 Well, I guess we should go. 921 00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:51,157 Yeah. 922 00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:52,224 There's nothing more to see here. 923 00:34:52,258 --> 00:34:53,892 No, wait. Look at that. 924 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:56,495 Oh, Josh gave her flowers? 925 00:34:56,528 --> 00:34:59,431 Wow. That's a big bouquet of flowers, J. Chan. 926 00:34:59,465 --> 00:35:01,600 The only time he got me flowers was prom night. 927 00:35:01,633 --> 00:35:03,802 Blue carnations from a gas station. 928 00:35:03,835 --> 00:35:05,337 From a bucket. 929 00:35:05,371 --> 00:35:06,805 In return, I gave him my virginity. 930 00:35:06,838 --> 00:35:09,308 I thought this was a rebound relationship. 931 00:35:09,341 --> 00:35:11,477 No, no, no, no, no. It is. It is. (sighs) 932 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,345 He just needs to get the blonde out of his system. 933 00:35:13,379 --> 00:35:15,314 Shh! What's he saying? Deaf lover. Oh. 934 00:35:15,347 --> 00:35:16,882 What's he saying, what's he saying? O-o-okay, okay, okay. 935 00:35:16,915 --> 00:35:18,284 He's saying... 936 00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:19,851 "Anna, you are so cool. 937 00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:21,753 I get so stoked when we chill." 938 00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:24,490 Oh, no big deal, he said stuff like that to me all the time. 939 00:35:24,523 --> 00:35:26,758 He gets stoked when his mom makes bagel bites. Um... 940 00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:29,695 "I just had to tell you that I've never 941 00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:32,764 felt this way about anyone else." 942 00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:36,268 "Ever." 943 00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:39,305 "Never ever." 944 00:35:39,338 --> 00:35:40,339 Okay, I got it. 945 00:35:42,741 --> 00:35:46,278 "Like, ever." 946 00:35:52,218 --> 00:35:54,920 * 947 00:35:54,953 --> 00:35:57,556 I told you guys, curiosity killed the cat. 948 00:35:57,589 --> 00:36:01,327 Mm. It didn't kill the cat, it just 949 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,596 ripped off the cat's tail, which has now been reattached. 950 00:36:04,630 --> 00:36:05,931 Mm. 951 00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:07,933 But I guess you were right. 952 00:36:07,966 --> 00:36:09,501 We shouldn't have gone down the rabbit hole. 953 00:36:10,702 --> 00:36:12,404 The only thing down there is... 954 00:36:12,438 --> 00:36:14,473 regret made of rabbit poop. 955 00:36:14,506 --> 00:36:15,941 Well said. 956 00:36:15,974 --> 00:36:18,277 Well, I'm just glad you guys are over it. 957 00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:22,648 He never loved us. 958 00:36:22,681 --> 00:36:24,683 Nope, either of us. 959 00:36:24,716 --> 00:36:27,219 And he's obviously over us. 960 00:36:27,253 --> 00:36:29,555 So, if he's done, then we should be done too. 961 00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:31,890 Mm. It's time to move on. 962 00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:34,293 Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. 963 00:36:34,326 --> 00:36:36,962 Mm. 964 00:36:36,995 --> 00:36:38,364 Oh, yeah. 965 00:36:38,397 --> 00:36:39,565 That's good. 966 00:36:39,598 --> 00:36:41,900 Okay, let's see. 967 00:36:41,933 --> 00:36:44,370 Too tall, too hairy, 968 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:45,704 too bald. 969 00:36:45,737 --> 00:36:47,873 Ugh, too karate. 970 00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,276 That one'll do. 971 00:36:53,412 --> 00:36:54,680 Wait, y-you're ditching me? 972 00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,382 But we were gonna go binge-watch something. 973 00:36:56,415 --> 00:36:57,783 I've been saving Friday Night Lights 974 00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,251 for someone special. 975 00:36:59,285 --> 00:37:00,652 I'm sorry, hon, maybe another time. 976 00:37:00,686 --> 00:37:03,555 And I really do love all your girl bonding stuff, 977 00:37:03,589 --> 00:37:05,691 but right now, I really need to get laid. 978 00:37:11,730 --> 00:37:14,032 Are you serious? You've got your jacket? Come on. 979 00:37:14,065 --> 00:37:16,034 What-- don't-- where you going? Don't leave. 980 00:37:16,067 --> 00:37:17,636 I'm gonna grab a drink with Hank. 981 00:37:17,669 --> 00:37:19,871 Please, just stay and we'll talk this out. 982 00:37:19,905 --> 00:37:22,574 Paula, I need a minute. 983 00:37:22,608 --> 00:37:26,312 I need to cool off. 984 00:37:27,413 --> 00:37:29,948 (door opens and closes) 985 00:37:38,023 --> 00:37:40,592 Hey, Sunil, it's me, what are you... 986 00:37:40,626 --> 00:37:42,794 Oh, you're busy with the kids? 987 00:37:42,828 --> 00:37:47,433 Just, well... I don't know, put on a movie or something... 988 00:37:47,466 --> 00:37:49,301 No, it's fine. No, never mind. 989 00:37:49,335 --> 00:37:51,537 It's-- it was nothing. 990 00:37:51,570 --> 00:37:56,074 Yeah, I'll-- I will talk to you tomorrow. 991 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:58,310 (80's power ballad-type music plays) 992 00:38:24,035 --> 00:38:28,607 * We used to be there for each other * 993 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,742 * Every second 994 00:38:30,776 --> 00:38:33,479 * With one emoji we could read each * 995 00:38:33,512 --> 00:38:36,848 * Other's soul 996 00:38:36,882 --> 00:38:39,585 * But since we've been apart 997 00:38:39,618 --> 00:38:42,621 * There's an aching in my heart * 998 00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:48,126 * It's an aching that no cocktail can control * 999 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,495 * And I 1000 00:38:49,528 --> 00:38:54,132 * Really wanna tell you that I'm sorry * 1001 00:38:54,165 --> 00:38:55,501 * And I 1002 00:38:55,534 --> 00:38:58,003 * Really wanna tell you that 1003 00:38:58,036 --> 00:39:00,639 * I am the worst 1004 00:39:00,672 --> 00:39:03,041 * And I just wanna say 1005 00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:05,944 * I miss you every day 1006 00:39:05,977 --> 00:39:08,414 * And I will 1007 00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:12,017 * But you go first 1008 00:39:12,050 --> 00:39:13,485 (spoken): I mean, 1009 00:39:13,519 --> 00:39:16,021 * This is almost entirely 1010 00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:18,089 * All my fault here 1011 00:39:18,123 --> 00:39:20,125 * But you gotta admit 1012 00:39:20,158 --> 00:39:22,594 * It's just a tiny bit 1013 00:39:22,628 --> 00:39:24,763 * Your fault too 1014 00:39:24,796 --> 00:39:27,032 * This is so all on me 1015 00:39:27,065 --> 00:39:30,436 * But still, you kinda have to agree * 1016 00:39:30,469 --> 00:39:33,939 BOTH: * That sometimes you can be really * 1017 00:39:33,972 --> 00:39:35,674 * Passive-aggressive 1018 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,509 * Self-involved 1019 00:39:37,543 --> 00:39:38,944 BOTH: * So 1020 00:39:38,977 --> 00:39:43,515 * Go ahead and say you're kinda sorry * 1021 00:39:43,549 --> 00:39:46,818 * So I can say "Oh, no, no, please" * 1022 00:39:46,852 --> 00:39:49,621 * Just like I rehearsed 1023 00:39:49,655 --> 00:39:53,024 * If you'll open the door 1024 00:39:53,058 --> 00:39:55,694 * I'll apologize so much more 1025 00:39:55,727 --> 00:39:57,929 * Yes I will 1026 00:40:00,031 --> 00:40:03,134 * But you go first. 1027 00:40:03,168 --> 00:40:05,170 * 1028 00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:24,923 That'll be $300. 1029 00:40:24,956 --> 00:40:26,858 I'll see you again tomorrow. Bye! 1030 00:40:26,892 --> 00:40:28,193 Captioning sponsored by CBS 1031 00:40:28,226 --> 00:40:29,795 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org